Take a Chance on Me
by canyousmellchips
Summary: Carmilla and Laura are teachers at the same High School. After a small incident, the two women start a friendship and Laura understands more about how Carmilla deals with the lost of someone she loved. And while Laura advices Carmilla that she should give herself a second chance to be happy, Laura may find out that she never actually listens to her own advice.
1. Chapter 1

**L** aura Hollis has been working at Silas High School since she graduated college in the same city she now lives. It has been around four years now. She likes living alone in the city. It gives her personal space, staying a few miles away from her overprotective dad. It's not that she doesn't love him with all her heart, but Laura likes to feel free. She doesn't like people trying to suffocate her in their arms.

It was like this with her dad first. Almost nineteen years living together had been good, but after she found out how exciting life was in the university's dorm rooms she couldn't ever imagine going back to the small city life she used to have.

Then came Danny. Fierce, brave, and adorable Danny. They dated four long years and she never thought much further than that. She was happy with their relationship. Even though sometimes she would start a long rant every time Danny tried to act overprotective around her. And then a day after graduation Danny proposed. Laura was shocked, muted for minutes. It was awkward and embarrassing, the two of them in the middle of the street with flowers all around them after a nice dinner in her favorite restaurant.

She knew she broke Danny's heart that night but she didn't feel ready. She was just twenty-two, Danny was only her second girlfriend, and it all felt like it was going too fast. Things didn't work out after that. Danny didn't agree with her, saying that four years was enough time to decide if a relationship should go further or not. But she would still try to stick around, waiting to see if her girlfriend would change her mind. And then Laura felt guilty because suddenly she was the one holding Danny back in a relationship that wasn't going anywhere. It didn't feel fair to ask from each other something they couldn't really give back. After they decided to break up, Danny had to move out of the city because of her work and they slowly lost contact.

Through the last few years Laura never tried getting into any serious relationships. Sure she had some fun at bars and went on a few dates, but she didn't feel like she needed more in her life. She had her dad and her stepmother coming to visit almost every month. She had an amazing job and the kids loved her; always laughing at her jokes and being participative in the projects she worked with them. She had her friends at the school too. LaFontaine and Perry were working there already for a year before she started. One morning, listening to LaFontaine enthusiastically explaining to her about something weird that happened in their last Chemistry class, she knew they'd become best friends.

* * *

 **T** he first day of the new school year is starting and Laura is excited. She loves the first couple of weeks. The students are always more talkative and smiling openly after a long summer break. Even the teachers seem to be less stressed; they've been spending time with their families and relaxing for the last several months. She smiles thinking about the amazing cookies her stepmother wrapped up for the trip back into the city. It's always like this when she spends time at home.

"Hello, Laura. How are you dear?" Perry welcomes her at room 307, the teachers' room. She seems more smiley than usual this morning.

"I'm great, Perry. What have you two been up to… holy Hufflepuff!" Laura exclaims when she notices the big diamond in Perry's finger.

"That's new! And so shinny. Wow. When did this happen? I can't believe you didn't tell me anything about it LaF. I could've helped you pick the ring…" She rambles with her arms moving in the air till Perry asks her to stop drawing attention. But it's too late now. All the other teachers were listening to them and are now asking a hundred questions to the newly engaged couple.

LaFontaine stares hard at Laura as she mouths an "I'm sorry" behind the Maths teacher's head that is now obstructing her view of her friends. It takes a few minutes of LaFontaine telling the story with a strong blush on her face and Perry being quiet and all smiles till everyone feels satisfied with the tale and goes off in the directions of their classes.

Laura sits close to Perry again with a guilty face.

"You know, if you guys had told me before we could have avoided that." She says, trying to calm the air between them again. "I'm not saying I should have screamed, of course. I'm sorry. Just stating a fact."

She catches a weird look between LaFontaine and Perry. Like they are debating if they should say something or not. Laura feels uncomfortable for a second, like she is intruding in some weird couple's staring game. In the end, LaFontaine just sighs and turns back to her.

"We thought you wouldn't react in a good way." Laura's eyes go wide at that. "Laura, it's not that we don't want you to be a part of this. Of course we want you to, you are our best friend. But every time one of us mentions of getting married in these past couple of years you just look like you are about to run out of the window to avoid the subject."

The school bell rings. LaFontaine looks like they want to keep talking and Perry won't look Laura in the face. They just decide to part ways before any of them is late for their first class.

Laura gets distracted by her students, and shouts at them to try to make them listen to the lecture. She is going to make them read Little Women this semester and she is excited. It's one of her favorite books. Some of them even put their arms up to ask question and she smiles. Sometimes she is afraid she will lose her way with the kids, but she manages to get them to participate, as always. It's not until her break time between classes that she is back to thinking about what LaF said.

Had she been so obvious about how she felt about marriage? Was she still really bothered by that? Four years time is enough to forget about her past mistakes. She doesn't feel upset about LaFontaine and Perry getting married. Laura is cheerful, so utterly happy for them. They have been together for almost ten years now; it makes sense for them to make it official.

Her train of thoughts stops when she gets back to the teachers' room. There is someone new in there, trying to use the microwave. A gorgeous young woman in her late twenties. With beautiful dark hair, a leather jacket, and jeans that hug her curves in all the right places. Laura knows everyone at the school so she wonders if this stranger is a new teacher. She tries to remember which school subject has a job opening for a teacher, but can't remember right now. Well, she better help the woman anyway.

"Hey, I'm Laura Hollis. English teacher. I see you are in need of some help." The new teacher barely looks at her and goes back to punching the buttons in front of her. "Sooo… Are you new here? I don't remember seeing you around before and I've worked here for years so I was wondering…"

"God, do you always sound so cheerful at this hour of the day?" The other woman finally talks and her voice is low and sharp. She doesn't seem very happy that Laura is there.

"Sorry. I was just trying to be friendly. Sometimes it's hard to start in a new place and it's nice to have people being welcoming. But I won't bother you again."

Laura punches the popcorn button hard and the microwave finally jumps to life. She turns around and leaves the room. It's better to spend her break anywhere but with this rude new teacher. Laura hates her already.

* * *

 **C** armilla Karnstein. That's the name of the annoying new History teacher. Laura had forgotten that Mrs. Cochrane retired last semester. She used to be Laura's favorite teacher at the school; always saw her as a role model because of how much the kids loved her. And now the poor students are stuck with Carmilla.

She thinks LaFontaine and Perry will join her in hating Karnstein. But after a few weeks, both of them are talking about how interested the students are in Carmilla's classes. Something about how she is always calm and firm enough with them, but is entertaining and uses her dry humor to retain their attention.

Laura sees Carmilla even laughing while she talks with the teenagers around the school halls sometimes. That makes her rethink about her first impression of Carmilla. Maybe she was just extremely nervous to start at the school and Laura caught her on a bad day. It's not like it matters that much.

Sometimes Carmilla even lends some of her chalk to Laura whenever the English Teacher forgets them in her last class. But she never really meets Laura's eyes when she speaks and it's awfully quiet every time they're in a room together.

* * *

 **U** ntil one day a small accident changes that.

Laura had to stay in late at school on a Friday night. Some student was sick and had to do a make-up test, and after class was the only time the both of them could meet. Laura is tired and can't wait to finally go home to take a bath and eat a whole pack of cookies before bed. But life just didn't want to be nice to her tonight.

The light changes too fast, without passing through the yellow light and the car in front of her hits the break abruptly. Laura's car charges straight into the back of the car in front and crashes. It's not a big accident or anything. But it sure makes her heart jump inside her ribs from the scare. She puts her head in the wheel and breathes for a few seconds before getting out of the car, worried that the driver is going to be furious at her. But no, the young man just says "Sorry, small hottie" and curses at the problematic traffic light. He introduces himself as Kirsch and talks just like the guys from the university frat clubs. But it's not in a malicious way and Laura is grateful for that. They both start calling the police and the car towing service, and laugh about their bad luck together.

Laura is pacing around the sidewalk, staring at her car, when a familiar voice reaches her.

"Hollis, are you okay? What happened? Are you hurt?" Laura turns and no one else but Carmilla is there. Looking at her with worry and holding a motorbike helmet in her arms. She doesn't think Carmilla has ever talked to her looking at her eyes before.

"I'm fine. Just waiting for the police to come see the damage."

"Oh, okay, good. I was just driving close and saw you and…" Carmilla's eyes are soft. Laura decides she is glad to have someone here with her. As much as she likes being all independent, dealing with a car crash is still a bit nerve wracking for her. Even if it was just a small bump.

She thanks Carmilla and they both stand there without saying anything to each other. Luckily the police come fast and the towing service takes her car. And Laura and the strange man deal with the bureaucracy of everything. For some reason Carmilla stays close during all of this. She doesn't interfere nor does she do anything, but listens to the conversation attentively.

"Do you want a ride home? I have an extra helmet." Carmilla asks after everything is done and the crowd is dispersing. Laura accepts and goes with her to the black motorbike a few meters away from there.

"Her name is Kitty." The other woman says as she throws her left leg over the bike seat. It's a smooth movement but still sexy enough to make Laura blush.

"Oh, really?" It's all she manages to say before she sits close to Carmilla and let her arms embrace the woman's warm waist. Carmilla smells good. A mix of damp earth, a leathery scent and, strangely, like chocolate. It makes Laura's head go dizzy when she gets off the bike after the twenty minute ride.

"Thanks for today." Laura says, standing awkwardly in front of her building's door, without knowing what to say. "You didn't need to stay with me through it all. I'm sure you have better things to do in a Friday night."

"It's ok. I wanted to be sure you'd get home safe." Carmilla smiles and her face looks so much younger like this. She takes a piece of paper and a pen out of her backpack and gives it to Laura with something written on it. "If you need anything, call me."

"How is it that I'm the one who just crashed my car but you are the one who seems more worried about it?" Laura says laughing. Because Carmilla looks uncertain, even nervous. Like she doesn't want to leave Laura just yet.

Carmilla shrugs and puts her helmet on again. The sound of her motorbike fills the street and she has to shout to speak again.

"See you at school, cupcake!" And just like that she is gone, leaving a trail of dark smoke behind her.

Laura smiles at the nickname. She tried to eat a red velvet cupcake in the teachers' room last week and ended up making a mess on the table. The thought of Carmilla, who was always quiet in her corner reading a book, remembering the cupcake incident makes her cheeks burn. She didn't think Carmilla even noticed her at all at the school. Maybe it wouldn't be that bad to be her friend after all.

* * *

 **A/N:** I've been working on the outline of this story for days already and I'm mostly nervous since it's the first time I'm venturing into the multichapter AU world. But this story just sounded good enough and I decided to try. Let's all thank my amazing beta Doris, because my english wouldn't make any sense without her editing. Have fun reading!


	2. Chapter 2

**A** fter the accident Laura starts going to the school with Perry and LaFontaine. Her car needs to stay a few weeks with the mechanics, and her friends live just two blocks away from her, so they insist on giving her a ride for all five days of the week. Laura doesn't try to refuse more than once. She still wants to find a way to make it up about the whole engagement announcement scene at the teachers' room. There is also the fact that her father almost had a heart attack when he found out she crashed her car. Hours listening to Papa Hollis on the phone ranting about safety and concerns are one of her least favorite things. But for some reason, he loves Perry and she calms him down saying that Laura will be safe with her in the driver's seat.

Carmilla was the other change. She started doing small things for Laura at the school. Laura enters a class after her and finds a student erasing the chalk board. He says Miss Karnstein asked him to leave everything ready for Miss Hollis' class. Carmilla suddenly stops being rude in the mornings. She is still herself, broody and distant. But on Monday Laura says "Good morning" to all the teachers in her usual cheerful mood and for the first time ever they hear Carmilla saying "Good morning" back. Everyone stares at the History teacher like they had never seen her before.

And then one day Carmilla brings her coffee. Laura is just looking over the last test she gave the students in the teachers' room when the mug, _her_ TARDIS mug, appears by her side. She looks up and Carmilla winks at her before she exits the room. Leaving wide-eyed Laura to deal with LaFontaine that just stares at her with their mouth open.

"Okay, start talking. What was that?" They ask Laura after a few seconds.

"What was what? There is no ' _that_ '! I don't know what you are talking about." Laura tries to dodge the question but ends up tripping on her words.

"I'm talking about the fact that Karnstein is being nice. To _you_. I thought you hated her."

"I don't _hate_ Carmilla. We are friends. She helped me with the car accident. And she is probably just trying to be nice because she was rude when we first met."

LaFontaine keeps looking at her while Laura drinks from her mug. They smile devilishly, like they know a secret. Laura hates when they do that. It happens every time they decide to be stubborn about something. Usually it's directed at Perry when they invent a new dangerous project. Half of the time it ends up with something being set on fire. Or worse. Laura thinks that she is starting to understand how her father feels about her in that moment. She lets an annoyed sound slip out her mouth and gets up to leave the room.

* * *

 **W** ith the exception of LaFontaine's insistent looks, Laura is enjoying her new formed friendship with the History teacher. Carmilla can be quite an interesting person to talk with when she is open to it. On most days she just sits on the couch in the corner of the teachers' room alone. But sometimes, when it's just her and Laura, they sit together at the long table and discuss about different things.

It starts with a discussion about the students' language and grammar problems. Laura is worried about the fact that so many of her students can't understand what they are reading even though they are already in High School. But Carmilla says she doesn't need to worry that much. She suggests that Laura should try to approach the subject with different materials. They bring together ideas for debates that originate from ideas that are more relatable for the students. Laura says she tried to use movies before with the kids but they keep falling asleep before they've even reached the halfway point. Carmilla proposes that she should let them watch just a few scenes during class and work at questioning specific minor themes.

Laura talks about the idea to LaFontaine, trying to prove her point that Carmilla and she are just passionate about their subjects. And what is the danger of spending time with coworkers if you are just debating about your work? Even if they are really hot coworkers that wear tight clothes and have beautiful curly dark hair and lips that look very soft.

It's not like Laura is blind. She's contemplated that for a long time in the last two months. But there are many reasons as to why she should not even think about having any kind of a relationship other than friendship with Carmilla. First, she doesn't know if Carmilla likes girls. Second, they are working together, in a school. There is no way that they can have a fling and just come back to work without anyone noticing. She doesn't know how, but LaFontaine always looks right at her and asks her to spill, like they can sense whenever Laura has slept with someone. And third… back to the fact that she doesn't know if Carmilla likes girls.

* * *

" **S** he likes girls, Laura. She is always staring at your ass." LaFontaine says in the middle of the school halls. Laura blushes hard and looks around to see if anyone was listening to them, but all the students are inside their classes. It's not like she is hiding the fact that she is gay. But there will always be a couple of parents who'll start looking at her weird when they do find out.

And what even is the probability of four teachers being gay at this school? Well, technically LaFontaine is nonbinary and pan. And Perry doesn't exactly like girls. She just never thought about her sexuality till she fell in love with LaFontaine and no labels were needed for that. But even if Carmilla did like girls, Laura doubts she would like her, not that Laura cares anyways.

But still, Laura is resolved to show everyone that Carmilla and her are just good friends. She invites LaFontaine and Perry to her house for a movie night the next weekend and makes sure to open the invitation to Carmilla as she casually walks through them.

"I don't know if I can make it. My family is in town…" Carmilla stops when she sees Laura starting to pout at her. "But I'll try my best."

"Yes! It's going to be fun, I promise. We'll order the best pizza in the city. You really need to try the _Pitsa i Thanato_ with the special pepperoni. You won't even have to pay. It's on me. Accept this as a thank you for helping me with the car thing and everything." Laura knows she is rambling again, but Carmilla has a smile on the corner of her mouth and Laura doesn't mind that much about the ramble.

* * *

 **O** n the Saturday night, LaFontaine and Perry are discussing what movie they'll watch while looking through Netflix. Sometimes they try to include Laura in the conversation but she seems nervous. Keeps rearranging her plants at the window and smoothing out the carpet under her feet. She wonders if this dark spot on the carpet was always that big.

"Tell me again why Perry and I need to be here when you and Karnstein are having a date?"

"It's not a date!"

"If you say so."

"I'm just having all my friends at my house for a nice movie night. Perry, can you back me up here?"

"Maybe if you stop pacing around, Laura. Darling, you'll burn a hole through the floor soon."

Laura looks at her phone again. It has been half an hour since Carmilla said she was leaving her house. Of course she was going to be late; she lives on the other side of the city. But it doesn't make Laura less anxious about it. She is starting to get hungry and the pizza is getting cold in the kitchen. She knew they should have waited to call the pizza place until Carmilla was close to arriving.

The buzzer rings and she jumps to answer. Carmilla is here.

* * *

 **W** hen they all finally settle in Laura's living room things just worked out on its own. Perry and LaFontaine are on the couch cuddling. Laura is in the armchair trying to not embarrass herself eating her pizza. And Carmilla decides to just sit on the floor with a pillow. Laura's favorite yellow pillow. They choose to watch some silly action movie full of bad CGI effects and unnecessary romantic scenes.

Oddly Carmilla and LaFontaine just seem to get along very well. They make comments every five seconds, and in response, Laura and Perry shush them both each time. Sometimes the group brings up a gossip from the school and they all laugh about it.

When the movie is over they start moving the conversation onto more personal subjects. Laura is worried that Carmilla won't want to talk about her life. But then they found out both Perry and Carmilla lived in Germany during their childhood days and suddenly Carmilla is all smiles and laughs. Where has this woman been all this time?

Laura catches the look LaFontaine is giving to her and she knows her face is probably doing something ridiculous. Like drooling for Carmilla. But before she can say something Carmilla's phone starts ringing and she excuses herself to the kitchen.

"She is nice, isn't she?" Perry says while she tries to clean the center table with her napkin. Completely oblivious to the weird vibes surrounding her fiancé and her friend.

"She is. Right, Laura?" LaFontaine says, smiling wildly.

The short girl rolls her eye. It's starting to annoy her when LaFontaine does that. Just because her best friends are getting married doesn't mean she needs to rush into a relationship. Every time Laura gets just a little bit interested in someone, LaFontaine will to try to interfere. Making small comments about how long it has been since the last time Laura even made out with someone. It's not like it has been that long. What? One or two years? She is not keeping count anymore.

Trying to clear her head, Laura goes to the bathroom. But she regrets as soon as she notices she can hear Carmilla's conversation through the walls.

"What is Will doing with you...? Don't let him drink too much I don't want to clean his vomit in my house." Is Will her husband? Boyfriend? "I cleaned enough of my baby brother's mess for a lifetime, thank you very much." Okay, maybe not? "I know… I know, Mattie… I'll see you when I get home… No...! It's not… I'm not on a date…"

Laura's stomach sinks. She is not sure exactly why. She has been saying to LaFontaine the whole week how this was not going to be a date at all. But hearing it from Carmilla makes her upset.

"No, don't let Will get the phone… God, you are drunk." Laura smiles. She stays there. She knows it's wrong to listen but Carmilla's voice is different when she's talking to her brother. Carmilla sounds like a zealous sister and it's adorable.

"It's not a date, William. We have talked about that… Don't mention _Ell_ to me… Ugh, just give the phone back to Mattie again."

There is something about the way Carmilla says Ell's name that catches Laura's attention. Now she finally feels like she is intruding in something that she shouldn't be listening to. She goes back to the living room and sits in the armchair with her head down, embarrassed to look at Carmilla when the woman comes back after the call. From the corner of her eyes, Laura sees that Carmilla looks distant, almost distraught.

"I'm sorry, guys. I have to go back home. My siblings are in town and I only ever get to see them every couple of months… so…"

"That's ok. We had a good time!" LaFontaine says when they notice Laura is still looking down. There is a weird look on their face; trying to understand what could have happened to Laura in the last five minutes.

They say goodbye and Laura lets out a small smile to Carmilla before she closes the door. The silence lasts a few seconds. Perry is up and around already cleaning everything. Laura can't bring herself to stop her friend. She knows Perry will just say she won't mind, like she always does.

"Did I miss something?" LaFontaine whispers to Laura when they sit close at the couch.

"No. Nothing."

 _Nothing at all_ , Laura thinks with herself.

* * *

 **A/N:** A giant thank you for Doris, my beta and writing partner. She does all the heavy work!

I'm just trying to fill in the background of the story so far. But I promise chapter 3 will be all about exploring Laura's and Carmilla's backstories. Annnd it's going to be way longer too.


	3. Chapter 3

**TW: mentions of death and hospitalization.**

 **C** ontrary to what Laura thought, things didn't change much in the last few weeks at the school. She was worried that Carmilla would notice how Laura tried to distance herself from her. That Carmilla would know, somehow, that Laura overheard her conversation on the phone the other night. But during the week after the movie night, Carmilla catches Laura looking at her in the teachers' room and smiles from the other corner. From that, she supposes things between them seem to be okay.

Carmilla even gets more touchy around Laura.

Carmilla's hand touches Laura's left shoulder while she says good morning one day as she walks by on her way to her classroom. Leaving a shocked Laura in the halls, pretending she's listening to the student talking to her. Her fingers brush past Laura's back in the teachers' room while she tries to see what Laura is reading. Carmilla is breathing so close to Laura's ears, and it makes Laura shiver.

Another day during break time Perry is ranting about the wedding preparations. She won't stop talking about the colors of the flowers and what kind of music they are going to play at the party. Laura finds it endearing for the first few minutes. But when she thinks Perry is about to stop, LaFontaine sits with them at the table and the two of them find more things to say about the wedding. With a lot more enthusiasm now.

Laura feels like she is being left out of the conversation. Her friends don't even bother looking at her while they talk. Too lost into each other eyes. Then she feels someone kicking her shoes under the table and turns to the other side. Carmilla makes a disgusted face and pretends she is going to puke. Both of them laugh quietly.

* * *

 **S** oon LaFontaine proposes that the four of them should go out together. They suggest a new bar that recently opened the other day and is close enough to Laura's house. And for some reason Laura keeps making excuses to get out of it. Mostly because it sounds too much like a double date. She pretends she needs to clean the house, says she needs to get the car back from the mechanics, or that she is too busy with preparations for her new lessons. She knows she is trying to avoid seeing Carmilla out of the school. It's silly. But she feels like if they talk to each other only at their workplace, things will be okay. She can excuse herself to leave for one of her classes every time Carmilla's dark eyes get too intense. If they go out their relationship may be too close.

And that is going into dangerous territory.

* * *

 **A** t the third month of the semester they have a council meeting. All the teachers sit together at the long table. The room is so full that a few people need to bring chairs in from classrooms. But it seems like any other normal meeting. There are complaints about how the students' grades are not up to par. There's a discussion about the idea of doing a study trip. Someone casually changes the topic every five minutes to gossip about some silly new romance happening in the halls. And Vordenberg going on a gigantic rant about a girl who keeps skipping class to smoke pot. That's a classic one.

Professor Vordenberg has been teaching at Silas High for probably as long as the school has existed. No one understands why he is still there. He is around eighty and can barely walk a few meters without losing his breath. He could just retire, go on an endless vacation and never come back. He doesn't need the money. Laura knows that because she heard Sarah Jane, the PE teacher, saying that he lives in a big mansion in one of the richest neighborhoods in the city. She doesn't doubt it. His clothes are always new and shiny. Like they had just come out of the most expensive store at the mall. The students' theory is that "Vordie" just likes to make their lives miserable. Laura's theory is that he is probably a lonely old man, and she feels sorry for him most of the time.

"She needs discipline." He exclaims, with his cane up in the air. "A young girl acting like that. Using drugs, saying the most unspeakable evil words at her teachers and not being put in her own place. It's just not acceptable..."

"Or maybe she is just trying to ask for help, in her own way." Carmilla's voice cuts into his speech that he's been going on for a few long minutes now.

Everyone turns to the History teacher that is sitting on the couch behind them. She hasn't spoken until now since the meeting started. When Laura looked at her earlier she even seemed distracted, typing something into her cell phone. But now she is looking at Vordenberg like he had just kicked a puppy.

"Maybe she is still upset." Carmilla continues. Her voice is harsh. "Her brother died just a few months ago. You can't just throw a kid back in school after experiencing trauma like that and expect them to keep acting like everything is ok."

"So are you suggesting we do nothing?" Vordenberg says, sounding offended by Carmilla's intruding.

"No. I'm suggesting we listen to this girl. We call her parents, sit them down for a talk and see if things are bad like this at home too. We need to know if she is in need of some therapeutic help before we just start asking too much of a teenager who is in a sensitive emotional state."

The other teachers seem to agree with Carmilla. They come up with a plan to call the student's parents for a private meeting before jumping into conclusions. Some of them even bring up a similar case that happened a few years ago. They seem involved on the topic now. But Laura is busy staring at Carmilla. She knows the look on the other woman's face. Like she knows exactly what this little girl is going through.

Everyone around them gets up and starts leaving. Laura looks around, noticing that the meeting is finally over. LaFontaine and Perry ask her if she is going with them, but she just says goodbye and stays behind. She is trying to keep an eye on Carmilla while she throws her notebooks back into her purse. When Carmilla leaves the room without speaking to anyone, Laura runs to her. She finds the History teacher outside, walking slowly in the direction of the parking lot. Her head is down, with her dark locks falling in front her face.

"Hey." Laura calls to her, uncertain. Carmilla realizes she has company and turns to Laura. There is already the glimpse of a smile being formed on the corner of her mouth. But her eyes are still hiding something.

"Hey, cupcake."

"You can call me by my name you know."

"I know." Carmilla winks at her and starts walking again.

"Wait. Wait. Are you going home? Are you free today? I mean…" Laura takes a deep breath. She needs to stop making an embarrassment of herself in front of other people. "Do you want to just go for a walk?"

There is a brief second of hesitation. Carmilla is tugging her backpack's strap hard over her left shoulder. And her dark eyes keep going back and forth between Laura and her motorbike. She looks like she just wants to escape. Before she can run away, Laura tries again.

"We can go on your motorbike. You told me last week that you wanted to get to know more of the city, right?" Carmilla nods at that, her head falling to the side like she is getting curious. "There is this nice park close to my place. I think you'd like it." Laura thinks she sounds calmer and more reasonable now. Because she is sure that that's the reason why Carmilla says "yes". Even though Laura isn't sure what she is doing herself.

* * *

 **I** t's a sunny day outside. The dry leaves make a crunching noise under Laura's feet while they walk around the park. She has good memories from here. From a long, long time ago.

Carmilla is by her side, looking around. Silently observing the kids that are playing with a dog just a few meters away from them. It feels comfortable. Not weird or wrong like Laura was expecting it would be if she ever went out with her coworker.

After a few minutes Laura finds the tree she was looking for. Sixteen years ago it was barely a bud sprouting from underneath the earth. Now the tree is so big its branches form a good enough shadow under it. When Laura moved to the city to start college, this was the place she would always go to on the bad days. She didn't tell anyone else about it. It was her secret place. Her and her mother's.

"Come on. Let's sit there." She says as she looks behind her shoulder and finds a place close to the tree trunk to sit at. Carmilla soon follows her and sits by her side.

They stay silent at first. Listening to the birds above their heads. It's almost like they are not in the city anymore. The noises coming from cars are too far away to be heard. Laura plays with the grass between her hands. Thinking. Considering if she should be the first to say something. She remembers Carmilla's face while defending the girl at the school and decides to speak.

"My mom brought me here when I was ten. It was the first time I ever came to the city, just the two of us. She had to come here for some career advancement for work. We had a picnic together." Laura smiles at the thought. It's like she can almost see her mother here with her. With the wind moving through her shiny blonde hair. "We never had a chance to come back again. But it makes me feel close to her."

While she speaks, Carmilla is looking at her. Questioning. Her eyes seem to find something. Laura wonders if it's the same thing she found in Carmilla's eyes at the school just a while ago.

"Why didn't she come back here with you?"

"She died when I was twelve. Cancer."

It always feels weird when she needs to explain to people why her mother is not around anymore. Most of Laura's memories of her mother are gone or a blur in her mind. With the exception of fragments of moments of happiness that she can sometimes remember. Like the afternoon they spent at the park together. Or when her mother showed her how to ride her first bike. And the sound of her open laughter.

Laura hates that most of those memories were obscured by her mother's last days. The long months at the hospital. Her father trying to convince her to stay at the house. Not wanting his daughter to see her mom slowly dying. But she always managed to convince him to take Laura to see her mom anyway.

"I'm sorry." Carmilla says with warmth in her eyes. Like she understands.

Laura nods. And smiles. She is thinking about changing the subject, trying to remember something they were talking about the other day. But Carmilla is opening her mouth, closing her eyes. Like what she wants to say is too painful.

"I lost my wife five years ago." is what she says. And Laura's heart sinks farther than ever. She wasn't ready for that. Because now her mind is racing. Forming images of Carmilla. Younger, happier, in love. With a ring on one hand and a beautiful woman in the other.

"You don't need to talk about it just because I started."

"No, it's ok. I want to." Carmilla affirms. And Laura thinks this is important. Carmilla probably rarely ever tells other people about it. But now knowing that Laura understands, she's comfortable with sharing. "It was a car accident. We were coming back from a party and it all went so fast. I just remember this huge light coming onto us. And Ell screaming. And then I woke up alone in a hospital bed. Without a wife."

Laura takes Carmilla's hands in hers. Tracing slow patterns on her skin. Because words are not going to be enough right now. Or maybe ever. Not when it comes to this.

"That's why I moved here. Everything at our old place used to remind me of her. So I thought it would be better to just go far away and start again. But I still feel like I'm leaving her behind and that it's not fair. Not fair that she isn't having a second chance too."

She stops talking. There are small tears falling from Carmilla's eyes now. Laura decides that she can start speaking again.

"You know. I used to think the hole in my chest would never heal. That this pain would never go away and I'd spend the rest of my life hurting. My dad was like that too. But then the years passed and it started to feel less agonizing. I don't mean that it will stop hurting. Just that now it hurts way less."

Laura remembers not being able to leave her bed for days after the funeral. The house was too silent. Like all the life had been sucked out of it. But then one day she forced herself up and saw her dad crying on his bedroom floor. Pictures of her mom spread all around him. She decided she needed to keep living. For her mom. And for him. Because at the moment they still had each other and that mattered.

"I keep thinking. What if we had left just a few minutes later? What if I was the one who had drank too much? What if I was the one sitting in the passenger's seat?" Carmilla says through her tears, interrupting Laura's thoughts. "She deserved more than me."

"Don't say that." Laura's voice is loud now. It startles the both of them. Carmilla is staring back at her now and she stops crying. Her eyes are wide, like she just woke up from a dream. Or a nightmare, in this case. "You deserve to be here, Carmilla. You are so good with your work. You are patient with those kids. You are important and you matter in this world. Life is messy and bad things happen. And yeah, it sucks that your wife didn't get a second chance to live. But you can't just give up on being happy because of that. You can't beat yourself up forever. She wouldn't want that."

Their eyes are locked together. The park around them forgotten. There is silent communication going on between them. And after a few tense seconds, Carmilla breaks the contact. Letting go of Laura's hand. She rubs her own hands on her face, trying to wipe the tears.

"Thank you." She says, with sincerity in her voice. "That… means a lot…"

Laura feels a little bad about the situation. Like maybe she said too much and she shouldn't have. But Carmilla seems softer now. Her shoulders are less tense. Her head is up, and her eyes are shining. It sounds like a good time to close this subject. This was supposed to be a relaxing distraction and not a heavy talk.

"Want to eat some ice cream? I'll pay." Laura says, getting up. Her right hand is directed at Carmilla, waiting.

"One day you'll have to let me pay, Hollis." Carmilla answers, holding onto Laura's hand before she gets up.

"One day."

* * *

 **L** aura takes them to an ice cream store close to the park. It's a small place with colorful walls, and they have her favorite flavours. No other place in the city has the delicious cookies and bubblegum ice creams. While she waits for her order at the counter, she takes her time to look back at Carmilla. The other woman is staring at the window, lost in thoughts. The vision of Carmilla in all her black clothes contrasting with the pink walls of the store makes Laura giggle to herself.

When she finally sits by the table, Carmilla smirks at her. Her eyes directed at the big ice cream in front of Laura.

"Cookies? Are you serious?" Carmilla says with a big devious smile. "I can totally picture you as the teacher that buys candies for her students. But you probably end up eating everything before you can even bring it to the school."

"What? That is so not true! They love my candies." Laura exclaims with wide eyes. It's only half true. Of course she brings them candies for Valentine's day and Halloween every year. She only eats half of the packet before she takes them to class. "And cookies are the best ice cream flavor ever. If you just ate some you would..."

Before Laura can finish, Carmilla is leaning forward, getting close to her. She takes a portion of the ice cream from Laura's bowl and sits back in her spot. Her tongue makes a slow travel to the spoon and a long moan leaves her lips. Laura's stomach is doing flips and she is sure her face is burning red.

"You are right. It's pretty good." Carmilla says, laughing at Laura's mouth hanging open wide.

They finish eating quietly after that. And Laura goes back to thinking about what she just learned about her coworker. She wonders if she can ask one of the hundreds of questions that are running through her mind. Or would it just make Carmilla uncomfortable?

"Tell me about her." It's what she ends up saying.

Her eyes meet Carmilla's across the table. For a second, Laura thinks the other woman won't answer. She regrets ever opening her mouth. But then Carmilla looks back at her ice cream and starts talking.

"She had beautiful blue eyes." Carmilla answers, with a small smile on her lips. "And the most amazing voice. But she hated when anyone mentioned that. Sometimes I'd hear her singing in the shower and I would hide behind the bathroom door just to listen to her."

Laura smiles too now. She can picture the scene. Carmilla behind the door, smiling. With her eyes closed. Too overwhelmed by the sounds coming from the shower.

"Ell was an artist. It took her a long time to understand herself." Carmilla kept going. "She was just intense in a quiet way during our teenage years. She would disappear for days and wouldn't answer our calls. And when she came back she always had new ideas for what she wanted to do in life. It only stopped when she started painting. She created the most beautiful sceneries. And when people asked what place it was, Ell would say that it only existed in her head."

"She sounds like an amazing person." Laura says genuinely. Her hand is close to Carmilla's. She wants to hold it. Take away a bit of her pain. But she stops herself thinking that maybe it's not the right thing to do. Carmilla is the one who softly touches Laura's hand. For only a few seconds.

" _She was_."

* * *

 **W** hen Carmilla leaves Laura back at the school parking lot she hesitates, standing close to the window of Laura's car. A weird look crosses her features. It's again the same look Laura saw in her face after the car accident. Now she wonders if it's because it makes her think about the old, darker memories.

"Have a safe drive." The black-haired woman says, finally deciding to move once Laura starts driving and winding the window back up.

Later that night Laura settles down to sleep and takes her phone from the bedside table. She types a message for Carmilla.

 _Laura: safe and sound in my bed!_

 _Carmilla: good to know you didn't destroy another poor man's car._

 _Laura: very funny._

 _Laura: goodnight, Carm._

 _Carmilla: goodnight._

* * *

 **A/N** : This was definitely my favorite chapter to write so far. English is not my first language so it has been quite a challenge to write a few scenes. But I feel like we can't move on if we didn't touch in the matters of both of their pasts. Don't worry, next chapter will be all fluffy to make up for the little amount of angst here!

Also a reminder that I can't answers your questions if you are not logged in. So if you have any questions I'd be happy to answer them on my tumblr, my url there is laurahhollis


	4. Chapter 4

**T** he last months of the year goes by quickly. There is so much work to do and so little time that the days get mixed into a blur of exams and student complaints and more council meetings. Carmilla is more involved now with Perry and LaFontaine. They all managed to form nice friendships. Even the other teachers are finally starting to warm up to Carmilla's dry sarcasm. And, of course, Laura and Carmilla get more and more close each day.

They even go out a few more times together. Laura wants to show all the parts of the city to Carmilla and the woman just follows her around. But after three runs around the park and the city streets, Laura learns that Carmilla really isn't a fan of walking outside. So they go to the movies one night.

It should've made her angry, how Carmilla talked over the whole two hours. But it's actually interesting to hear Carmilla whispering all the inaccuracies she finds in the movie into Laura's ears.

Now Laura is more comfortable with hugs and shoulder brushes at the school. She is usually like that with all of her friends. So she doesn't really know what the danger would be if she acts the same way with Carmilla. Even if the number of times she wants to hug the History teacher is probably much higher than when she wants to hug LaFontaine.

And there is also the fact that the conversations between Laura and Carmilla are starting to get more personal. During break time Carmilla lets it slip about a girl she hooked up with a long time ago. Something about how the girl used to have a superiority problem. Saying she would be a famous pop star one day. Carmilla thought she was kidding. But the girl did end up becoming famous because of a viral video that exploded after the girl tried to sing drunk during a karaoke night. Now she really is famous on the internet. Just not for the reasons she had wanted.

* * *

" **S** o you've only been with girls? Or did you have a phase were you weren't sure about it?" Laura asks while she pretends to be distracted by eating her apple.

"Yeah, I just knew it right from the start. Never wanted to try it with guys." Carmilla answers.

"I wasn't at first. But once I started trying to kiss guys… That's when I was sure."

Carmilla stops tapping her pen on the table. Turns around to actually look at Laura with a strange look on her face. She is surprised by the statement.

"I didn't know you are gay."

"Really?" Laura answers. Didn't everyone at the school know? LaFontaine would've probably mentioned that to Carmilla by now. "I thought it was obvious."

"Well, now that you mention it…" Carmilla's eyes are studying Laura. A smile is forming in the corner of her lips. It's nerve wrecking. Is it a flirtatious smile? "But no, maybe bisexual? I guess I was wrong about you."

"Just like I was about you." Laura admits.

She never thought she would end up forming such a good friendship with Carmilla. Not after that weird first meeting they had beside the microwave that is right behind them right now.

"Did you ever try to date… you know, after Ell?" Laura knows she may be pushing too much. Her curiosity sometimes wins over her rational thoughts.

"Not exactly date." Carmilla doesn't hesitate in her answer. It makes Laura feel better about asking. "But yeah, it just didn't work. I couldn't find someone who could deal with my mood swings ever before."

The "before" at the end of her sentence rings an alarm inside Laura's head. She brushes it off. It probably just means that Carmilla has now found friends who tolerate her enough. It's not that hard for Laura. She likes having Carmilla around. And she knows Perry and LaFontaine feel that way too. At least by what they've told Laura so far.

"How about you, Laura Hollis? Why are you still single?"

"Oh, you know. Busy with work." She laughs nervously. "I had a serious girlfriend at college. But it didn't work either. We just… wanted different things."

The conversation dies after that. Mostly because Laura doesn't really want to talk about Danny. Or how she screwed up the most serious relationship she's ever had. Because she was uncertain. Because she wanted more. Or because she just didn't exactly know what she wanted at the time. And guilt still grows inside of her every time she remembers about how things ended.

* * *

 **A** week after that, Laura is coming back from the library, lost in thoughts. She uses the few minutes in between her classes to get some extra materials. And a voice coming from the windows to her left draws her attention. It's Carmilla.

Laura readjusts the weight in her arms and moves closer to the windows, partially hiding her body behind a pillar. Inside the classroom there seem to be a commotion. At first she thinks that Carmilla might have lost control over her students. But no. It's completely on the contrary.

"Okay, can someone tell me the answer to the question? What are the important points that caused the beginning of the First World War?" She says as she turns back to face the class after writing something on the chalkboard.

Half of the students raise their hands up in the air. The other half is screaming. They all want to talk at the same time. It's like a battle to see who is going to be chosen to answer first. But soon Carmilla calms them down.

"How about we let our friend here talk?" She points to a boy on her left. "If we are all yelling at the same time we'll never get anywhere, children."

One by one the students give different opinions. Some laugh at the wrong answers a student in the first row gives. But Carmilla is back again at them. Asking them to not judge others for their mistakes. They are all there to learn together.

And just like that Laura feels herself being fascinated by the scene. She is good with the students too. Just in a different way. Usually Laura jumps around the room to let herself be heard and needs to raise her voice louder and louder in the middle of the students' discussions. But Carmilla never raises her voice. She just calmly looks at the students and asks them to stop. And they listen.

Maybe it's just something in Carmilla that makes everyone want to get her attention. This air of mystery and quiet confidence that she always carries around. Like no one could ever touch her or bother her. The fact that Laura has seen Carmilla crying over painful past memories doesn't make her any less amazing to Laura. It actually makes her look more strong and captivating.

Carmilla seems to notice someone is spying on her and turns to the window, and Laura tries to hide herself. Why did she run away from Carmilla's eyes? It's not like she was spying on something she shouldn't have been watching. It's just a normal class. She has peeked into other classrooms a number of times before.

But her heart is beating fast. Like she just got caught doing something she didn't want anyone to know she was doing. Probably because she was again, admiring Carmilla with a fondness that overwhelms her. She likes Carmilla. She understands that. The implication of how much she likes Carmilla is what makes her confused. And scared.

* * *

 **A** knock on the classroom door makes Laura look up from her desk. Her smile grows. Carmilla is walking inside and bringing coffee in for Laura, who is stuck in her last class; one of her students is taking longer to finish the last test before Christmas break. She accepts the coffee and Carmilla sits on the desk. With a smirk on her face.

"Sooo… were you the small shadow spying on my class earlier?" She whispers and Laura almost chokes on her TARDIS mug.

"Oh, uh… not spying. Just passing by."

"Sure." Carmilla says, her legs bouncing under her. She seems to be considering something. It's making Laura nervous. The student a few tables away from them looks up occasionally to see what's happening.

"I was thinking." Carmilla continues. "Maybe I could take you to eat something nice tomorrow?"

Laura blushes hard. She is not sure if this is an invite to a date or just another thing they'll be doing from now on. Going out to have lunch together. As friends. Or maybe more than that. It was always Laura who invited Carmilla to go out before. And she really isn't good at understanding when people are actually flirting with her or just being nice.

She's done this before. Thought people were just being friendly when they were in fact hitting on her. It's always been her friends who had to push her aside and explain to her the situation happening right in front of her eyes. But no one else is here with them. With the exception of the curious student who is now staring at them.

"Donna, are you having problems with your test?" Laura asks.

"No, no, Miss Hollis. Sorry. I'm almost done." The girl answers fast and goes back to writing.

Carmilla laughs. Still looking at Laura, waiting for an answer.

"Just text me later if you want to go, ok? I have a surprise." The way Carmilla says the word "surprise" make Laura gulps. She just nods and they say goodbye.

When Donna finally finishes her test Laura sighs happily. She is exhausted today. Can't wait for Christmas and to be able to spend some time away from the school. While she is setting her purse strap on her shoulder she notices Donna standing at the door.

"Miss Karnstein is really pretty, isn't she, Miss Hollis?" The girl says and it catches Laura by surprise.

"I-I… I guess she is?" The words tumble out before she can close her mouth.

"It's ok. I won't tell anyone about your crush. Our secret." Donna winks at her and leaves the class.

Laura is screwed.

* * *

 **O** f course she ends up going to lunch the next day with Carmilla. It's her last day in the city before she leaves to spend some time with her dad for Christmas. And she really wants to have a good time with her coworker before that.

LaFontaine calls her while she is getting ready and she doesn't tell them anything about going out with Carmilla. She lies to herself thinking she doesn't really want to deal with their jokes right now. But she knows they won't say anything. Not now since they also know about Carmilla's past. Both them and Perry are aware of the subject. Laura kept that knowledge to herself and Carmilla ended up feeling comfortable enough to open up about her past to LaFontaine and Perry later. Both Laura and Carmilla felt like a huge weight had been lift off of their shoulders. Laura is relieved since she no longer has to avoid the topic around her other friends.

When her phone buzzes with a message Laura calms herself as she picks up the phone. Pretending like she hadn't just darted down the stairs to check the message. Like she isn't completely excited to see Carmilla again. Even though they saw each other just the day before at the school.

* * *

 **T** hey go to a small restaurant just a few blocks away from Laura's building. She's been there a few times already. The conversation goes the same as always. School gossip, a discussion about a movie they watched, what they are going to do for Christmas. Both of them are excited to see their families.

"How did you decide to become a teacher?" Laura asks, always eager to know a little more about her coworker.

"During my last year of high school I watched a history lesson at the university." She eats a fry and keeps talking, a glint of happiness behind her eyes. "The professor was this amazing woman who managed to keep me captivated during the whole lecture. We talked privately a couple times after that and she gave me a lot of advice. That definitely changed a lot of my views of the world. You know, I used to have these ideas that were so different at the time. Mostly because my mom was an asshole and I ended up absorbing some of her negativity."

It's not the first time that Carmilla mentions her problems with her mom. Apparently they had some fights during her teenager years that never faded away from both of their memories. It seems like Carmilla's mom is the only person in her family she doesn't like to talk about that much. When she mentions her siblings or her stepfather she is always less tense.

"That's cool. I wanted to be a journalist at first." Laura says as Carmilla's smile grows wider. "What?"

"I can totally see it," is what Carmilla says. "You seem like the type. Always putting your little nose where you shouldn't. And you would get away with anything because you are just too adorable."

Laura blushes. She tries to laugh and continues her story to change the subject.

"Then in my second semester at university I had to work with these twelve year old kids for a class. We had to spend the whole semester observing and helping a teacher at a public school. It was just an extra class I was doing. But I ended up loving it so much that I changed my major right after that."

A waiter starts taking their plates away. Behind the dishes balancing in the air Laura sees Carmilla looking distant. Like she is remembering fond memories now.

"I wanted to be a philosopher when I was a teenager."

"No, you didn't."

"I did! I used to be very pretentious. Only read Nietzsche and that kind of stuff." A new image comes to Laura. Of a younger Carmilla sitting alone on a couch. Surrounded by old books. It feels very real. Something that Carmilla probably still does now as an adult.

"I guess we just unexpectedly fell in love with our careers." Laura says.

"I guess we did."

* * *

 **T** hey go back to Carmilla's motorbike and drive around the city. Laura doesn't know what the surprise is yet. They spend a long time on the road and soon she notices they are heading out of the city, leaving the tall buildings behind them. Not that Laura minds that much. At this point she is just happy to be able to spend more time close to Carmilla. Especially because today Carmilla's hair smells different. A stronger perfume in her beautiful curly locks.

* * *

 **A** fter an hour Carmilla finally stops the motor and they're both on their feet again. They are completely away from civilization now, and the road that they're on seems to be abandoned. It's a circular track with just a dirty path and a few trees close by.

"Sit back." Carmilla tells her. "I'm going to teach you how to drive this beauty." After she says that Carmilla takes her helmet off. Her smile is big and even in the ugly weather she looks like she is shinning. Laura can't remember if she ever saw Carmilla this excited before.

"Really? Oh my god!" Laura exclaims while she tries to adjust herself on the motorbike, squirming into the driver's seat.

If Laura's dad ever found out what she was doing right now she is sure he would have a heart attack. As a teenager she had always wanted to try new things. Rafting, roller derby, surfing. Most of the times she managed to get away from her overprotective dad to experience these things. But as soon as she mentioned driving a motorbike Papa Hollis would just say "no" in a warning tone. And that was it. They never talked much about it. His excuses were mostly that it was like sitting on a death machine.

He doesn't really need to know about this now. Laura is an adult after all.

"Pay attention, cupcake." Carmilla was trying to do a fast lesson for Laura. "Remember to use the throttle just like a car accelerator. You just need to turn it really slow at first to get it started."

Laura nods in excitement. She just really wants to start driving.

"And pull the breaks like how you would on a bike. It's the same principle. Don't forget to push both sides, ok? Oh, and put your feet down as soon as you want to stop. We don't want you falling and scratching Kitty."

The machine under Laura's body was a little heavy but she thought she could handle it. If Carmilla, who was just an inch taller than her could, then she could do it too.

"Are you ready?"

"Yes!" Just as she answered, Laura turned the throttle too fast and stopped a few meters away.

She looked back. Worried that Carmilla would yell at her. But the woman combusts into a loud laughter, clearly entertained by Laura's failure.

"What did I say about slow, sundance? Try again."

Laura tries to start again; this time the slowest she could go. Soon she starts to move. After balancing herself, she lifts her feet up and she increases the speed. Little by little she starts to understand how to make the turns and drives for a few minutes, going three rounds around the dirty road. Every time she reaches Carmilla the woman would give her a thumbs up.

She now knows why Carmilla loved this so much. It's fun with just the slight amount of danger. Enough to fill her body with adrenaline. The air blowing through Laura's hair, the earth dragging dust under her feet. She feels free. No other thought crosses her mind. With the exception of concentrating to keep her balance.

After a few more rounds she remembers Carmilla is there with her. She almost feels bad that her coworker had been spending so many minutes just watching Laura driving in circles. Laura slows down till she is close enough to Carmilla again and pulls on the breaks.

"Wow! That was so cool." She says laughing. Carmilla holds the motorbike's steering wheel to help her.

"I'm guessing you enjoyed my surprise then."

"Yes. Thank you so much, Carm."

The nickname is still new. Like testing the waters. But they smile at each other. Laura is starting to sweat under all the layers of her clothes. Even though it's cold, she feels too chirpy to actually feel anything other than the warmth inside of her.

"Can we do this again another day?" She asks, hopeful.

"Sure."

* * *

 **T** hey go back into the city after that. They share an ice cream together again in Laura's favorite park, under her mother's tree. Carmilla is the one who suggests it. And Laura is glad for the gesture. They haven't been there since Carmilla told Laura about Ell. But it's not sad this time; they're only talking about good things. How Carmilla got her motorbike two years ago. And how her little brother, Will, was the one who named the vehicle. Apparently, "Kitty" was the nickname he used to call Carmilla when they were little.

Laura mocks her and says she can see why. Carmilla has some resemblance to a cat. With the smart feline eyes, always observing her surroundings. And how elegantly she walks. Laura doesn't mention the last one out loud.

* * *

 **I** t's already getting dark when Carmilla turns off the engines to let Laura step off at her street.

Laura is trying to find the keys in her purse when she sees Carmilla following her to the glass door. Usually Carmilla doesn't even take her helmet off. She just says goodbye and drives away. But this time she stays. And she's leaning against the brick walls while Laura is still busy with the keys.

"Thank you for today. It was a really good afternoon." Laura says when she starts becoming aware of how intensely Carmilla's staring at her, without saying a word. She usually feels the need to fill the silence in situations like this.

Carmilla's eyes are warmly directed at her. And her smile slowly fades from her face. Did Laura say something wrong? She stops fidgeting with the keys and stares back at Carmilla. There is something familiar with this scene. Like she should recognize exactly what is happening in this moment.

"Laura…" Carmilla's voice is just a whisper now. "Can I try something?" She asks in a serious tone. "And we don't need to talk about it later. Promise."

The street is empty behind them. Dark. Only the streetlights illuminating Carmilla's pale features. She is beautiful. The way she is looking at Laura right now makes Laura lose track of her breathing.

Laura finally nods. And waits.

Carmilla takes a step closer to her. And hesitates.

But she closes the distance between them a little more a few seconds later. Her hands touch Laura's jaw, so softly that Laura can barely feel them there. Carmilla's eyes are so close to her now. Those infinite dark pits make Laura dizzy.

And before she can register what is happening, their lips meet.

It's so brief that Laura almost makes a noise to complain. But she stops herself before it escapes her mouth. Without opening her eyes she searches for Carmilla's lips, which are still very close to hers. And this time both of them open their mouths with more certainty.

They lose themselves at the feeling of each other lips.

At this exact moment Laura regrets every second she hasn't been spending kissing Carmilla. It's not the sparks. Or the very warm feeling in the pit of her stomach. It's how this feels so right.

She remembers regretting kissing so many people before. And the feeling of it not being at the right moment. Or scared that she was being awkward. But kissing Carmilla feels comfortable.

It's not until she feels Carmilla's hands travelling to her waist that she finally awakens from her thoughts. She needs to stop this. Right now. Or she is going to do something stupid. Like ask Carmilla to stay.

"I… I need to go." Laura says, opening the door and stepping inside.

"See you next year." Carmilla waves with a smile from the other side and Laura sighs. Feeling defeated.

 _She is so screwed._

* * *

 **A/N:** I'm giving all the credits for my beta in this chapter. She is the most patient person ever with my mistakes.

Next chapter Laura gets an unexpected call...

Meanwhile tell me your opinions on the story?


	5. Chapter 5

**F** or the first few days it was easy to ignore the confused state of her mind and heart. Laura stayed at her dad's house for Christmas and New Year's and that was a good distraction. Listening to him telling stories about how he had just found the perfect Christmas tree for this year. It was the tallest one he ever got; it barely fit in the living room. And Laura's stepmom would cook food enough to feed an army just for the three of them.

Laura loves spending time with them. They would all sit close together in the living room that Laura grew up in. Listening to Christmas songs and watching Doctor Who special episodes together. What makes her even happier is seeing how content her dad is with Linda, his wife.

When Laura moved to college she had her doubts about it. Especially during the first semester, leaving her dad was hard. There was a moment when she almost packed her things to go back home. But then she got a call from Papa Hollis saying he was going to get married again. And that was it. She was sure Linda would always be there for him.

"How are things going in the city, sweetheart?" Her dad asks with a mouth full of turkey.

"Oh, you know… nothing much different." Laura answers. "Perry is getting more excited about the wedding arrangements. And getting more nervous everyday. But LaFontaine is trying their best to stay out of danger. They don't want to burden Perry any more than necessary right now."

"No more burned eyebrows then?"

"Nope! Everyone is safe, dad. I promise." She adds because she knows he will worry about it. His concerns extend towards both Laura and her friends. She finds it endearing. "And the students this year are being so attentive. We had of course a few bumps on the road, but now I feel like they are maturing so much…"

She rambles a lot for a few more minutes. Laura knows she can get too excited when she talks about the school. But her family never minded that that much. They'd listen with intent and ask questions, as they're genuinely curious. They're used to the way Laura can just talk for hours about anything.

"… and we have a new History teacher this year." She let it slip.

"Oh, really? What happened with Mrs. Cochrane? You used to love her." Linda asks with a worried face as she tries to scoop more food onto Laura's plate.

"She retired. But it's ok, really. The new teacher is great. She is… amazing… with the students, I mean. She is amazing with the students." Laura stutters. "Your food is great, Linda. You always manage to get even better, every year."

"Thank you, darling." Her stepmother smiles in her motherly way.

After that Laura tries to steer the conversation away from anything school related. Afraid that if she talks more about Carmilla they will ask questions that she doesn't want to answer. Sometimes the memory of the kiss floods back to her and she would feel upset with herself. She needs to push that memory out of her mind.

* * *

 **W** hen classes start again Laura is a nervous wreck. Walking around the school halls with her eyes alert. She spent so many hours rolling in bed at night thinking about how she should act around Carmilla. If she should really just pretend nothing happened. Carmilla did say "we don't need to talk about it" anyway. They only exchanged a 'Happy Holidays' message during the break. Nothing else.

Laura didn't know how she could pretend nothing happened. Not with the memory of Carmilla's lips so soft under hers, insisting on constantly filling her mind. And when she finally sees Carmilla across the room she feels like her heart is in her throat. Forcing herself to be calm, Laura sits at the table with her coworkers, trying to act normal. As best as she can. Not that it's working too well.

Perry is talking about some trip she and LaFontaine went on for New Years. Only half listening to it, Laura pretends she is paying attention. Her eyes try to spy on the history teacher taking notes just a few chairs away from them. Carmilla just nods a few times when LaFontaine asks her questions and goes back to her notebook. Laura had to bite her lip to stop herself from saying more than "hello". She knows that if she says something else she will put her foot in her mouth and ask Carmilla right then and there what the kiss meant to her.

 _Why did Carmilla kiss her after all?_ Is that just something she does? Kiss her friends for no reason? Did she want to know if she has feelings for Laura? Was it just in the heat of the moment? Did she ever lie in bed at night thinking about how it would be to kiss Laura again?

Because Laura does. She thinks about it all the time.

Maybe talking about it isn't the right thing to do. It would be crossing lines. Or maybe they already did cross that line. If before the kiss it didn't feel weird to hold hands or hug each other, it would be now. It's not longer platonic. And Laura hated the tiny part of her that wanted the change.

* * *

" **S** o she kissed you."

"Yeah.

"Was it good?"

"Yeah."

"Do you want to do it again?"

"Yeah."

"So just do it."

LaFontaine didn't get it. They just want Laura to throw herself at any possible chance of Laura and Carmilla being more than friends.

Laura and LaFontaine are sitting on Laura's couch now. Drinking the cheapest beer LaFontaine could actually afford and watching some weird movie about aliens invading Earth. Perry had to go out with her sisters to look for wedding dresses. So Laura was in charge of distracting LaFontaine before they start freaking out.

"I like her, Laf." Laura says, drinking another sip of her beer.

"That's the point I'm trying to make here. You like her, she likes you. Just go with the flow and see where this goes."

"I don't want things to change between us." Laura tries to readjust her position on the couch. Clearly getting uncomfortable with the conversation, she pulls her legs up to her chest.

Laura likes to talk to Carmilla. She didn't want just the kissing and the sex. She wants the hugs, the jokes, and the closeness. The way they feel comfortable with each other just by being around one another.

"Laura, everything you say about this just means that you _do_ want to be with her."

"As friends." She contests quickly.

"Why? Why as a friend? What's the problem with the idea of being more than that with Carmilla?"

She thinks for a second, staring hard at the beer in her hands. She hates the taste of it but keeps drinking it because of the tiny feeling of dizziness that spreads through her body and distracts her mind.

"Because I'll just break her heart." She finally lets it out. "It's all I can do. Break people's hearts. I did this to Danny and look how it ended. She doesn't even talk to me anymore."

And there it is.

Sure Laura liked Danny and she missed her sometimes. But it wasn't the dating part she missed. She missed having Danny to talk to. Her pep talks and how much fun they used to have together. Stepping into a relationship with Carmilla could end with the both of them heartbroken. With no going back to friends. Laura prefers to have Carmilla forever in her life as a friend than having Carmilla all to herself and just lose it all in the end.

LaFontaine looks at Laura, with their eyes getting blurry because of the alcohol.

"Hey, Laura… Just… just because it didn't work with Danny it doesn't mean it's not going to work with anyone else."

Laura brings her eyes back to the screen. Right now she can't even remember what the story of the movie is anymore. She can feel tears accumulating behind her eyes. She won't cry. She won't. This is stupid. It's probably just the alcohol affecting her emotions.

"I'm not going to force you to do anything you don't want." LaFontaine continues. "But as your friend I'm just going to tell you to think about it. And talk to Carmilla.

"Thanks, LaF."

They go back to watching the movie, trying to remember exactly what's been happening with the aliens' wars and their weird politics. After a few minutes they return back to talking about LaFontaine and how nervous they are about the wedding. Mostly because of the pressure of having Perry's family in the city. And Laura goes back into her supportive-best-friend mode.

* * *

 **T** he universe has a strange way to send messages.

Laura gets home after a busy day at school. Between trying to avoid Carmilla and hiding herself in her classroom, she feels exhausted. She notices the red light on her answering machine and hits play. Thinking it's just her father with one of his long messages about how much he misses her. She walks straight to the kitchen distracted, but when she recognizes the voice she runs back into the living room. The glass of water in her hands is now forgotten.

"Hey, Hollis! It's been quite some time, right?" The voice on the other side laughs. Sounding embarrassed. Or guilty. "Look, I'm sorry I didn't call you all these years… I just…" There is a sigh. And a pause. "Can I see you? I'm in town to see my sister and I know you are probably busy with the school. But I want to talk and I think doing this in person will be easier. Maybe to apologize to you, I'm not sure. Just let me know if you still want to see my face after everything. Bye!"

 _It's Danny._

Danny wants to see her. After four long years. She just calls Laura and asks to see her. Laura thinks maybe the universe does hate her. She considers the idea for a moment. Maybe this is what she needs. To give closure to her past problems with Danny. Maybe seeing Danny again will help her understand what is happening. Or what happened a long time ago with them.

It just sounds weird that Danny is the one who wants to say sorry when it was Laura who broke her heart.

Thinking she has nothing to lose, Laura calls her ex back.

* * *

 **T** hey decide to meet at Laura's favorite ice cream place. Danny tried to invite Laura to the restaurant they used to go years ago. But Laura was persistent in refusing. The embarrassment she went through the last time they were both there was enough for a lifetime. She needs to stay focused. The mission is to apologize for the past, have a good conversation and try to move on.

While getting ready, Laura wonders for hours if it would break her heart all over again when she sees her ex. And even now, sitting alone at the white table, she is still nervous.

Soon a tall redhead enters the store and Laura signals for her to come sit.

Danny is different. Her hair is shorter now; it makes her look older and still very adorable. She is wearing more sophisticated clothes too. When they were both in college Laura used to see Danny only in sportswear or sweatshirts. Not that that had made her look any less attractive at the time.

"I'm so glad you came." Danny says smiling. Laura feels a bit better about the whole thing. If Danny is smiling, it's a good sign.

"Of course I would! I mean… It's great seeing you again. You look… amazing." Laura says in her chirpy way. "So… How are you doing? How is life going?"

"I'm good… great." Danny looks hesitant. Like she is considering if she should say something or not. "Actually there was a reason why I called you after all these years."

"Oh, really? What is it?"

"I got married." Danny says bringing her left hand up. A shiny ring is there. And her smile is a shy one this time.

"That is… wow! Congrats!"

A relieved sigh escapes Danny's mouth. Again with that. Everyone always thinks Laura will react badly to marriage announcements.

"So who is the lucky person?"

"It's Betty." Danny says, uncertain to how Laura would take it"

"Betty?" Laura's eyes go wide. Betty as in Betty Spielsdorf. Betty who was Laura's old roommate in university. Who lived years in the same room as Laura without ever making eye contact with Danny during that whole time. Betty who would spend all her time with her face stuck in books and didn't date anyone all four years they all spent together.

"Yeah. She helped me after… Well, after you and I broke up. We started a friendship. It was kind of a long distance friendship since she was still living here in the city after I had moved. And then one day she visited me at my new place and it just… happened."

 _It just happened._ The way Danny says that sounds like she is in awe. Like the fact that they just fell in love was the most pleasing surprise ever. A warm feeling spreads across Laura's chest. She had been so worried that she had ruined Danny long ago, but no. Here she is. Happy and in love. With someone else.

"I'm so, so happy for you, Danny."

"Thank you. I'm so sorry I didn't tell you before I was just so nervous to see you again. I mean, Betty and I just got married last year and it was a small ceremony. Just the two of us and our families."

"Of course, of course." Laura isn't angry about that. If she were in Danny's place she wouldn't invite her ex-almost-fiancée who broke her heart to her wedding.

They buy some ice cream after that and talk about different things. Danny tells her about her new job at a publishing house. And Laura spends a long time ranting about her students and about LaFontaine and Perry. She even suggests that they should all hang out together the next time Danny is in town. Adding that she should totally bring Betty along. Laura is sincere when she says she wants to congratulate them properly. She is glad that Danny could find love again with someone like Betty.

"How about you, Hollis? Have your eyes on someone?" Danny asks after they finish.

"I'm… just busy with work. I don't have a lot of time to go out, to be honest." It's a lie.

Even now sitting with Danny, a part of her mind goes back to Carmilla. Maybe she chose the wrong place for this meeting. Because now everything around her reminds Laura of Carmilla. How she smiled telling Laura about her wife. The way her face would light up when she got passionate about a topic. How her flirty smile would make Laura's stomach do flips. And how her lips felt like the closest thing to heaven.

"Being busy doesn't mean you can't find somebody. Someone can unexpectedly turn your world around." Danny says in a kind tone. "What happened to the Laura Hollis I met all those years ago? Huh? The one that had dreams about maybe someday having kids and a family?"

Laura raises her gaze from the table. This is weird coming from Danny. Laura is still trying to understand how Danny can be so calm about all of this. Like they are okay. Like Laura didn't break her heart and how Danny hadn't been an asshole about it.

"Just because things didn't work between us it doesn't mean you should stop trying."

"That's not what…" Laura tries to intervene.

"I know you, Laura. You may have changed in a few aspects, of course. It has been quite a long time. But I think that I still know a few parts of you enough. You just have this ability of feeling guilty and not moving on from things till they are right again."

Laura smiles back, still shy and uncertain. But she is feeling good today; she's so happy that Danny and her can put all of this behind them and start fresh, as friends.

"It doesn't make what we had any less valid." Danny continues. "I think we had a good time together. I really loved you and I'm sure you loved me in your own way."

Laura nods. She doesn't know what to say at first. Usually she has so many words coming out of her mind without a filter. But right now she feels surprised by Danny's words.

"Do you think we could've worked? If we had tried harder?" Laura decides to ask.

"I think we would have made each other miserable." Danny smiles sadly.

When they leave the store Laura hugs Danny. It doesn't feel wrong. It's just like having the same Danny back from when they had first met. A happy Danny. In a way that Laura hadn't seen before. There was definitely something softer about her. Laura wonders if it has anything to do with Betty. Or if it's just how this more mature, new version of Danny is now.

"See you again soon, Hollis?"

"Yeah. Bye!" She waves and turns to the other side of the street.

* * *

 **B** ack at her house Laura tries to distract herself for the rest of the weekend. She takes a long shower, lies in bed for hours. But nothing stops her from thinking about the things she's heard from her friends in the last days. She then sits on her couch to watch something on the television. She changes the channel a hundred times till she recognizes the scene in front of her eyes. It's from the movie she and Carmilla watched together months ago. She still remembers laughing as Carmilla made angry complaints about the historical inaccuracies of the dress the main character was wearing.

The memory makes her smile. Just like every other memory of being with Carmilla always does.

Laura realizes she misses the History teacher. She just wants to be able to call Carmilla without feeling silly and nervous. To talk about anything that comes to their minds. Laura wants to share with Carmilla about the afternoon she spent with Danny. They could spend some time together, just the two of them, holding hands, whispering secrets. Even some kissing could be involved. Okay, maybe she was lying to herself. A lot of kissing should be involved.

 _Wait a minute._

Laura jumps and sits straighter now. Her heart is beating fast. Images of Carmilla and her from the last couple of months are running through her mind.

The two of them sharing stories under Laura's mom's tree. Watching movies together and laughing. Their hands finding each other for a few brief seconds every time they were around each other. How Carmilla would sometimes rearrange a lock of hair behind Laura's ears. The way Carmilla kissed her, uncertain at first and gradually more intense.

How could she be so blind for so long?

LaFontaine was right. Danny was right. Everyone was right.

Laura was the wrong one. So incredibly wrong.

Because she wants Carmilla. All of it. The hugs, the kisses, the laughs. And that scares Laura more than anything in the world. The realization of how she spends so much time telling other people to give themselves a second chance makes her want to slap herself. Telling Carmilla that she deserved a second chance, while Laura wasn't thinking about herself or how she was involved in this.

And even worse, Laura told Carmilla to give herself a second chance and Carmilla kissed _her_. She was sending Laura a message. And Laura, being a ridiculous, insecure woman, didn't answer back.

What if it is too late? What if Carmilla is over her already? What if she thinks Laura doesn't want her?

Laura needs to fix this. She needs to find a way to explain herself. She doesn't know how exactly she will fix this whole mess. But the only way to do it is by talking to Carmilla. Face to face.

* * *

 **A/N:** Sooo the sad news is: chapter 6 is the last one of this story.

But the good news is that it's longer than chapter 5 aaand I'll be writing a long fluff epilogue to make it up for that!


	6. Chapter 6

**L** ooking at the clock on her wall, Laura wonders if 9 pm is too late to show up unannounced at someone's house. She hesitates for a few minutes before she gets up again. At this point Laura doesn't even care that much anymore. She just needs a few seconds of courage. That's all it takes. She gets her car keys from her coffee table and runs out of the door to cross the city.

Carmilla mentioned her address a while ago, and Laura vaguely remembers coming to this side of the city a few times in the past. She is doing this. She is going to Carmilla's house. Even though the History teacher never actually invited Laura over. But there were a few hints dropped here and there in the last couple of months. Neither of them ready to take the first step. Or to be the first to cross the boundaries of their friendship.

Cursing at every red sign, Laura drives nervously through the streets.

Don't think. Just do it. Don't think. She repeats over and over in her head. Trying to force herself to not turn the car around and go back home.

Only when Laura reaches Carmilla's tall building that she realizes she can't remember the number of the woman's apartment. Well, this is certainly going to blow her plans. Taking her phone out she tries to call Carmilla.

The phone rings once, twice, three times. There is no answer.

This is a bad idea. Laura doesn't know what to do. She shouldn't be here. What is she doing here?

"Hello. Can I help you?" A voice with a slight British accent comes from the balcony a few meters away.

It's the doorkeeper. A young man with long brown hair with curious, but kind eyes directed at Laura.

Better to give a try than to go home so soon.

"Oh, hi!" Laura says. "I can't remember my friend's apartment number and she isn't answering her phone…"

"That's all right. I can see if I can find her in the registrations." The doorkeeper opens a file on the computer in front of him. "What is their name?"

Laura is shocked. This was easier than she had imagined.

The security of this place is a little bit worrisome.

God, she is sounding exactly like her dad.

"Karnstein. Carmilla Karnstein." Laura says approaching the balcony. "I think she lives on the third floor?"

"Mrs. Straka… Miss Luce… No…" He keeps scrolling the page.

"Fourth floor maybe?"

"Ah, here it is! Miss Karnstein, 408."

"Thank you so much!" Laura exclaims, already running down the hall.

* * *

 **P** acing around the elevator she tries to plan what she is going to tell Carmilla. Maybe she should start by apologizing. Or suggest that they should talk about the kiss. She just really hopes Carmilla won't be angry with her. After all it was Carmilla who asked them to not talk about the kiss after it had happened. Which was still something that made Laura confused.

There isn't time enough to think about it anyways; as soon as the elevator doors open she turns left and door 408 is in front of her.

Laura breathes in and out. Takes a step. And another. She buzzes the ring and has a huge need to run away from there.

Here goes nothing.

* * *

 **B** ut when the door opens it's not Carmilla in front of her. Definitely not Carmilla.

It's an older woman. Beautiful. With expensive clothes and the biggest smile on Earth. The kind of smile you can only see on TV during broadcasting news.

"Can I help you?" Her voice is appealing enough. But there is a hint of warning in her tone. Distrust.

"Sorry!" Laura can feel her cheeks burning up. "I think the doorkeeper gave me the wrong number? I'm so sorry! I was looking for my friend. I'll just… go."

Laura tries to turn towards to the elevators, but the woman's voice calls for her attention.

"Are you looking for Carmilla?"

"Yes." She stops in her tracks. "Do you know her?"

"Of course I do." The woman's smile is bigger now. "I'm her sister, Matska Belmonde. Come in, darling."

Her sister?

Laura definitely didn't think Carmilla's sister would be so… different from her. Of course, they are not blood related, but Matska looks like she came from a completely different planet from her younger sister. Carmilla is always wearing black-coloured, simple clothing. Shirts that look like they've seen better days and worn leather boots, while Matska is in a dark red business skirt and a silk shirt that is probably the equivalent of half of Laura's monthly paycheck.

From what Carmilla has told her, the sisters have always been very close. And still they look like two very different people, and so, for Laura, it's hard to imagine both of them partying together. But who is Laura to judge anyway? She never had any siblings to understand this kind of bonding between two people.

"I don't want to bother you." Laura says as she steps inside the apartment. It's a clean space. All white walls and black furniture. It looks expensive. But those are probably the perks of living so far away from downtown, she guesses. "I just needed to get something with her… from school." She improvises; it's probably better if Matska thinks she is just Carmilla's coworker.

Isn't that what Laura is anyway?

"You won't bother me at all, honey." Matska says. She is distracted already with a bottle of wine, refilling a big glass that's sitting at a corner table. When she turns back to Laura there is a curious look to her eyes. Like she is trying to understand why exactly Laura is here.

The way Matska is looking at Laura almost makes her feel smaller, with her ugly old shirt and jeans.

"Something for the school you say?" Laura nods at that. "So you work with Carm there, I presume. What is your name?"

"Laura. Laura Hollis."

Matska's eyes light up from behind her glass of wine. She is interested now. There is something dangerous in the way she moves around the room to get closer to Laura. This woman is definitely very confident about herself. Like she owns the whole world.

"What a pleasure to finally meet you, Laura Hollis."

Finally meet her? Well, that's something unexpected.

Did Carmilla talk about Laura to her sister?

"You can wait here if you want. I'll keep you company." Matska sits on the leather couch. She looks like she belongs to the apartment. "Carmilla and our brother will be back soon."

For some reason Laura doesn't want to stay here. It feels weird being here without Carmilla.

She had always imagined that the first time she'd come to Carmilla's house, the woman would be here. Probably telling Laura some weird story about how she got a cat lamp in this obscure store in downtown. Or about how Carmilla doesn't have a television in her living room. But Laura knows she does have a television somewhere because Carmilla watches tons of documentaries almost every night. She wonders if it's in Carmilla's bedroom.

Laura's mind becomes fuzzy for a second. The realization is finally coming down on her. She is in Carmilla's house. It's a bit unreal.

Looking around, she is becoming more and more conscious about all the little details in the apartment. The small parts of Carmilla's life that she still doesn't know much about it. She stops thinking when her gaze sets on a frame to her left. It's half obscured by other works of art, which seem to be all from different parts of the world.

This particular frame that catches her attention is of a beautiful scenery. Only a tall leafless tree in the middle of an abandoned field. The skies are a deep shade of red. And the plantation seems to be dry. Almost all of it dead. But there is a portion of the tree's leaves that seem to be growing again. Laura can't really tell what it is about this piece that moves her until she locates the artist's name at the corner of the frame.

Ell.

A sting shoots through Laura's chest. She definitely should not be here without Carmilla. Of course she should've called Carmilla before she crossed the town for this. Laura is so, so stupid.

"Ah, yes. Ell's prime work." Laura jumps. She didn't notice Matska getting up and walking closer towards to her again; Laura was lost in her own thoughts. Matska's arms are crossed and an intimidating look is in her eyes. "Did my sister ever tell you about her?"

She told me everything. It's what Laura wants to say. But she doesn't.

"She did."

Matska nods, still studying Laura with those dark eyes. And Laura decides she doesn't like being stared at like this. She really wishes Carmilla was here so she wouldn't have to deal with Carmilla's big sister alone. It's nerve wrecking.

"Those were hard times." Matska says and Laura feels like this is the beginning of a speech. A speech she doesn't know if she is ready to listen to. Not yet. "Carm has always been a lonely and scared kitten. It took some time for her to get used to me and my dad at first. But once she feels comfortable enough to open up to someone, she becomes heavily attached and emotionally invested in the relationship."

A smile spreads on Matska's face. Probably because she is reminiscing about old memories. The good and simpler times. Laura has heard Carmilla telling some of the stories between the two sisters. With the same loving eyes that she sees now in Matska. Again, Laura thinks about how she doesn't really have something like that to compare to in her life. She can only imagine how siblings are willing to protect each other under any circumstances.

It's something that maybe her father always does for her. In a different way.

"Soon after Ell died Carm had a few rebellious months. It was like she was a fifteen year old girl all over again. Wanting me to take her to parties every night and never stopping to think for a second. Wanting to forget." Matska stops for a second, she is serious now. "But I knew it wouldn't last long. And I was there, step by step. Waiting for the moment she would remember everything again. And I'd give her my shoulders to cry on. As I always did before."

Laura gulps at that. She doesn't want to think about Carmilla's pain. But it's there. It will always be there and be a part of her. There are things you can't erase from a person. Just like Laura still thinks about her mom sometimes and the hole she left in Laura's chest. Even though she has learned to love her stepmother later on. A different love for different people. Things you can only do when you stretch the capacity of your heart enough.

"Maybe I should go… I can talk to Carmilla another time…" she tries to say but Matska interrupts her.

"You know, Laura." The dangerous smile is back. "What I want for Carmilla is happiness. But that can be found in different forms for different people. Our brother thinks Carm should move on and forget the past. I think that it takes time to mend a broken heart."

"And I agree with you. But I also think that that's Carmilla's decision to make." Laura finally says. She is tired of this conversation. "I really need to be going now."

They say goodbye and part ways. When Laura is almost in front of the elevator doors she hears Matska's voice calling for her one more time.

"Laura." She turns back. There is something different now in the woman's eyes. Doubt. Or maybe guilt. "Do you like my sister?

"Yes, I do." Laura answers with her head up.

"Don't break her heart then." It's all Matska says before she closes the door.

* * *

" **D** id you call me yesterday?" Carmilla's question takes Laura by surprise on Monday.

She had totally forgotten about this detail.

"Oh, yeah… There was… this weird documentary about the Roman Empire on TV and I thought you'd like to watch." She lies.

It's not that she doesn't want to try to talk to Carmilla again. She just can't do this here at school. Not with so many students around and teachers who are always curious to know about the fresh gossip every day.

"Oh, I can't believe I missed it." Carmilla sounds disappointed. It's just a silly documentary. Why would she be so sad about that? "I'd have liked to tell you about all the incorrect theories they were probably making."

The way she says it is shy and reserved. Laura thinks it means more than just a talk about the documentary. Maybe she wanted to talk toLaura. No other motives.

Why was this so complicated?

* * *

 **I** n the next few days it becomes even harder to talk with the History teacher.

Every time Laura tries to reach her, a student starts calling for Carmilla's attention, wanting to discuss about the homework or to ask for a second chance on a test. Honestly, Laura loves how patient Carmilla is with her students but she really wish she wasn't in these moments.

And there are also the numerous amount times LaFontaine would see them talking and interrupts Laura before she can go any further than "How are things going?".

* * *

 **O** n Friday, Laura is turning twenty-seven.

Her friends spent all week asking what she wanted to do on her birthday this year. But Laura just wanted to spend the night in bed. Watching ridiculous romantic movies and eating all the ice cream in the world. Not that she actually told them that. So when she didn't have a good enough excuse to refuse Perry and LaFontaine's small party at their house, her only choice was to go.

It's only the three of them anyway. And Perry made a delicious strawberry cake that she knows Laura loves. They make small talk for a few hours but Laura is distant. And they notice. They give weird looks at Laura every five minutes. But they never say anything. She wonders if they are just trying to give her some rest since it is her day.

A small part of Laura wishes Carmilla was here too. It does make her wonder why. She was sure LaFontaine would've loved to invite the History teacher, trying to create opportunities for Carmilla and Laura talk again. Wasn't LaFontaine the one that told Laura to do something?

And there is also the fact that they keep looking down at their phones. Like they are nervous about something.

It's awkward.

Usually Laura and her friends go to a bar together every year to celebrate her birthday. Her dad would call her and she would send him a message. Pretending she was busy with work or saying there was too much noise at the place. The truth is that she was always too drunk by the time he calls her.

This year, though, he decided to call her earlier, while Laura is still at her friends' house eating cake and feeling miserable. Because the only person she really wanted to be with didn't even send her a happy birthday message. She can't even remember seeing Carmilla around the school for more than five seconds today.

Was the woman ignoring her on purpose? Did Carmilla finally realize how silly and plain Laura is?

"I'm going home. Thanks, guys. It was… really nice of you." Laura says.

"Are you sure, darling? Don't you want to stay a bit longer?" Perry says looking between Laura and her fiancée. She looks anxious. "We can watch some of your favorite movies…"

"No, no. It's ok, Perry." LaFontaine interrupts her. "Laura is probably tired. It's been a long week." There is an intense look in their eyes. It's that stupid couple stare game they keep doing more and more lately.

Laura can't bring herself to feel angry. They did try to make her day better after all. She thanks them again and drives back to her house.

* * *

 **W** ith a heavy sigh Laura tries to twist the key in the lock again. This stupid door keeps acting weird lately. She pushes a little harder till the door unlocks. As soon as she gets inside her jacket comes off and she hangs it on the clothes hanger. Only then she turns her body to the living room.

And stops with her eyes wide open.

Carmilla is standing there. In the middle of her living room. Between the couch and the center table.

There are candles spread on the floor around the furniture, illuminating the place just enough for Laura's eyes to study the scene.

Oh, God. This is happening. It's all Laura can think about at the moment.

"Hey." Carmilla tries first.

"Hey." Laura answers back.

"So LaF gave me your spare key."

Oh, oh. Of course. She hadn't even thought about the details of how Carmilla even got in here. Laura's brain stopped working half a minute ago. When her heart decided that it was the only organ that needed to be working in her body.

"That's ok."

"I thought we could talk." Carmilla sits on the couch and signals for Laura to join her. And Laura tries to not think much about how Carmilla looks and feels so comfortable in Laura's house.

When Laura sits down she finally notices the small cupcake on her center table. A red velvet cupcake.

She smiles a little at the sight of it.

"Oh, yeah. About that." Carmilla starts with a blush in her cheeks. It's completely adorable. "Happy birthday."

Laura's smile grows. Carmilla didn't forget about her birthday. It's so silly though, that she can be this happy just because Carmilla bought something for her birthday. Even something this small. But it means more to Laura than any gift she could ever get.

"I know Mattie had a talk with you."

Mattie? Oh, her sister.

Crap.

"I'm sorry. I went to your house without even asking and… She was there… And she just invited me in…"

"Laura, stop talking." Carmilla says. "I literally broke into your house with your best friends' help. I think we are even."

So that's why LaFontaine and Perry were so nervous earlier. They probably planned all of this with Carmilla, behind Laura's back.

When Carmilla is sure that Laura is going to stay quiet, she decides to continue.

"I just wanted to say that, whatever Mattie told you… it's not how I feel." Carmilla's dark eyes are so full of emotions now. It's unnerving. "I mean she can be overprotective. She was with me during all these years I spent being stuck in my house after the accident. I think you can understand about family members who do this kind of stuff."

Laura only nods. She totally can.

"The truth is… I am scared." Carmilla laughs and looks down. She sounds so small in this moment. "I was used to being alone. I was used to just focusing on my work and forgetting there was something else I should be doing with my life. But then I met you…"

She looks up again, finding Laura's eyes. And Laura's heart decides to beat even faster now. Because the way Carmilla looks at her is new. No one ever looked at Laura like that. With this much adoration. Like Laura is the shiniest star in the sky.

"And you are definitely something, Laura Hollis." They smile at each other. It's such a ridiculous scene. The two of them with their hearts in their hands, sitting so close yet so far on Laura's old couch. "Right after we kissed I regretted that I had ever asked you to not talk about it."

Carmilla stops talking. She looks at Laura. Waiting. And Laura is suddenly so utterly nervous. She knows she needs to start talking. The words are running around in her mind at first. Testing. Considering. Laura needs to let them out. Out. Right now. Or she will indeed break Carmilla's heart.

"I couldn't stop thinking about kissing you."

There is a small fraction of a second where she stops and takes a deep breath one more time. Laura stares at the carpet. Maybe it'll be easier if she is not looking into Carmilla's hopeful eyes.

And then it all flows out.

"And it's not just the kiss. It's the way your hand feels in mine. It's how your smile makes my day brighter and I wish you'd do that more often. It's how our conversations are so easy and how I just know you'd never judge me by how I feel. It's how passionate you are about your work. How patient and great you are with your students. It's how you make me feel all the time when you are around. How light and free I am when we are together. How you treat me like I'm good enough." She is feeling braver now. Her eyes finally look up. Finding Carmilla's eyes again. "And how scared I am of all of this. Extremely scared. But the hardest of all is how I just can't imagine ever thinking about letting you go."

Carmilla's hands touch Laura's cheek, as both their heads move closer together. Soon enough their noses bump. And Laura can feel Carmilla's breathing on her skin.

"I'm scared too. It's okay." Carmilla says.

It's agonizing how much Laura wants Carmilla to close the small space in between them. But Carmilla waits. Like she wants Laura to take the first step.

"Kiss me." Laura finally says. It's just a mere whisper. Carmilla can hear only because of how close they are now.

And they do. They kiss.

It's so different this time around. It's not just kissing. Laura can feel all the emotions Carmilla pours into their mouths. Time seems to stop for the minutes they spend like this; arms touching shoulders, fingers brushing the hair behind their necks.

When they finally stop to breathe, both of them are smiling.

"So do I have to blow off all of these candles before I can eat my cupcake?" Laura says. Her voice is weak and husky.

Carmilla just laughs. There is a smirk growing on her face. Laura waits for some innuendo there but it never comes. Carmilla kisses her again and reaches for the coffee table.

They share the cupcake in between kisses and whispers.

Laura missed this. She missed them. Before they even were a thing to be missed.

* * *

 **A** fter a while the talking stops.

Making out on a small two-seat couch is never comfortable enough. And Laura does what she should've done months ago, right after they kissed downstairs.

She gets up and offers her hand to Carmilla.

"Bedroom?" She smiles. Trying her best to sound confident.

They stumble around the furniture before they reach the bedroom door. And Carmilla has to stop kissing Laura's neck to blow off the candles. It's better if they are sure nothing is going to catch on fire.

There are a few more minutes of more laughing and Laura is trying to be as quiet as she can while their clothes come off. She just can't stop this inner bubble of happiness that wants to leave her body.

Only when Carmilla lies down on Laura's bed does the house becomes engulfed by silence.

Laura thinks it will be burned into her mind forever, the way Carmilla looks in this moment. With her dark hair spread all over Laura's white duvets.

Or how Carmilla's legs feel around Laura's head. And how when Laura gets up again Carmilla kisses her so sweetly, with Laura moving above the other woman.

For a few minutes Laura feels so close to something but she can't never quite reach the end of it. She can't let go.

That's when Carmilla's free hand brings Laura's face up so that their eyes can meet again.

"Don't be scared. I'm here to catch you." Carmilla whispers.

Only then Laura's world blurs into oblivion. Inside of her she can feel something breaking. Opening all the parts of her that she used to hide from everyone else.

And they crash into each other. Too numb to care about their bodies mingling at all the wrong angles.

It still feels perfect somehow.

When her breathing even again Laura places a kiss right under Carmilla's heart. Soft arms hold Laura's body while fingers draw small circles on her naked back. Closing her eyes she concentrates on the sound of the fast beats of the heart under her ear. Imagining all the days she'll get to be able to fall asleep like this.

* * *

A/N: Thank you so much for all the favorites, comments and for taking your time to reading my fic! It has been an amazing adventure to get out of my writers' block and actually write something so long in a language that is not my native one. I loved writing this small story.

A big thank you to my beta Doris, who is so patient and edited every little detail for me. This story is just as yours as it is mine!  
I hope you guys stay around for the epilogue. You probably noticed a few things I left open and I want to take my time and reread the whole fic to be able to close the story writing about that. It'll come soon enough, I promise.


	7. Epilogue

**O** nce they decide to make things official, it becomes easier to deal with the perks of being a couple.

At first, Carmilla and Laura didn't tell anyone. With the exception of LaFontaine and Perry, of course, since they were so involved in bringing the two women together.

But no one at the school knows about the news yet.

For Laura having to ignore the aching need to touch and kiss Carmilla at work is hard. It's just so easy to fall into the little public displays of affections for them. With knees touching, hand holding, and kisses on the cheeks. But it is a sacrifice that Laura is willing to make.

She's willing to do anything to make it easier for them to navigate through these first weeks together.

* * *

 **D** uring the summer break, LaFontaine and Perry finally tie the knot.

It's a big ceremony with both of their families, friends and coworkers.

It's also the first time Laura and Carmilla go somewhere so public as a couple, where people they know can see them together like this.

Of course, the gossip spreads around the party.

They had no intention of taking some of the attention away from the newlyweds. They didn't even think it would be that much of a deal. Okay, maybe Laura did think about it. And maybe she was a little nervous about it too. For days. But Carmilla insisted that she was being silly. Just because they were holding hands at a wedding, it's not like everyone is going to freak out about it.

She was wrong.

All the teachers who are there at the wedding turn their heads towards Laura and Carmilla's table, congratulating them and asking lots of questions.

Laura can feel her face turning deep red. And Carmilla whispers in her ear trying to make her feel better. The commotion isn't that disrupting, at least. It's not like the newly wedded couple's families and friends care that much about them.

Only when LaFontaine and Perry start their first dance do all eyes fall back on them.

It's a sweet moment.

Hundreds of people with tears in their eyes.

Everyone there knows what the couple went through to get here; with LaFontaine's family not being supportive at first and the weird questions people would always ask Perry about her partner's gender.

This is probably the first time LaFontaine and Perry's families are together like this. In harmony.

It's impossible to hold back the happiness for them.

* * *

 **L** aura and Carmilla dance together later.

With their heads close. Bodies aligned. Slowly moving to the beat of a cheesy love song.

And Laura feels like she is in a dream. It's unreal to be this happy. To feel this light, being with someone. But that's how she feels having Carmilla's hands on her waist.

Her whole body is tingling. From her head to her toes.

She wonders if this is all too soon. This feeling of being so content in her lover's arms.

Then a whisper in her ear interrupts her train of thought.

A few simple words pushes through her head and into her heart.

Making her whole world stop.

"I love you." Carmilla's voice says.

Laura brings her head up as tears start forming in her eyes again.

They smile at each other.

"I love you too." Laura says. Certain. Looking right into Carmilla's dark eyes.

And it doesn't feel too soon at all.

* * *

 **T** here is a crowd of women all around screaming and jumping, waiting for the moment Perry throws the bouquet to them.

Most of them are single young women. But there are one or two of Perry's aunts who are a bit too drunk, trying to mingle in between the crowd.

Laura and Carmilla are behind the mass, trying their best to stay away from the situation.

"Three… Two." The women are yelling together. " _One_!" Perry finally sets the bouquet flying.

And somehow it ends up landing right onto Carmilla's hands.

She blushes hard.

People all cheer around them. But Carmilla just keeps staring at the floor, smiling awkwardly at the situation.

Laura feels suddenly overwhelmed watching this. She laughs freely at how shy her girlfriend looks.

She kisses Carmilla's cheek and hugs her hard.

Only then Carmilla laughs too and her shoulders look less tense.

From the other side of the party Laura can see LaFontaine giving them the thumbs up.

* * *

 **A** s it turns out, the two of them don't need to deal too much with the gossip about them at the school.

Carmilla gets a new job.

It's at a public school that is located between her and Laura's house, and it's good enough for them.

Even if it means they'll see each other way less now. Laura tries to see it as a new challenge in their relationship.

Weekdays are for work related stuff. And when Friday comes, Carmilla goes to Laura's house and they spend all weekend together: getting to know even more of each other, going out on dates, or just laying around in Laura's apartment.

It soon it becomes a routine.

How Carmilla is totally not a morning person and gets angry when Laura decides they need to wake up early to enjoy the sunny day.

How Carmilla's clothes slow start to drape over Laura's furniture. Like they belong there.

That turns into their first small fight. Laura can't deal with the mess. And after a few tense days they decide that Carmilla needs to clean up her own stuff.

Laura makes it worth her while though. With kisses and hugs.

And, of course, by letting Carmilla complain and make rude comments during all of Laura's favorite movies.

* * *

 **T** he students at Silas High School find out about their relationship.

It's a big mess at first.

All of them want to congratulate Laura on the news, and they keep telling her how cute they look together.

It makes her blush and stutter.

She doesn't really know how to deal with a bunch of teenagers swooning over the fact the she is dating their hot ex-History teacher.

After a few weeks they calm down. Only once or twice do the kids bring up the topic again, mostly asking about how Carmilla is or telling Laura how much they miss Carmilla's classes.

Laura thinks this is adorable. She tells Carmilla all about it, while they dance around her kitchen trying to prepare dinner.

It also makes her miss Carmilla more each day.

She knows it's for the best. Carmilla seems incredibly excited at the new school. The woman always wanted to work at a smaller place with kids that need all the help they need to get through their difficulties. Carmilla is always planning new things and projects to help them.

Laura falls even more in love with her because of that.

* * *

 **A** nother change they need to adapt to is how a relationship affects your friendships and other people in your life.

Laura hasn't forgotten about that. She just tries to approach things slowly.

It starts with the two of them going out with LaFontaine and Perry. They do double dates: in movie theaters, bars, and pizza places.

It becomes their thing; the four of them doing something together once a month.

But then Laura will sometimes mention Carmilla to her dad during one of their long phonecalls. He becomes more and more curious and asks Laura to bring her home.

She is a little worried. Excited too. It had been a long time since she last brought a girlfriend back to her dad's house.

It ends up being a hilarious and nerve wrecking day.

Papa Hollis looks at Carmilla suspiciously. His stare is stern whenever Carmilla's hands get too close to Laura's.

On the other side of the table things are easier. Linda is completely mesmerized by Carmilla. They talk easily about her work, her life, her family. After a few hours Laura notices her dad becoming fonder of Carmilla.

He even smiles at her when they say goodbye and asks her to " _take care of his little Laura_ ".

"She can take care of herself very well, sir," is what Carmilla says.

Laura kisses her for a few long minutes in the car before they go back home.

* * *

 **A** s far as relationships go, so far Carmilla has been the perfect girlfriend in front of everyone.

But Laura didn't expect Carmilla to be jealous.

Especially about her ex.

Danny calls them one day to say that she will be coming to town in a few weeks with Betty. One phone call turns into another and soon Laura tells Danny all about Carmilla.

Which brings all six of them to a club on a Saturday night.

LaFontaine. Perry. Danny. Betty. Laura. And her very broody girlfriend.

Carmilla acts weird all night. She can't keep her hands to herself. She puts her arms around Laura all the time and keeps staring at Danny like she offended Carmilla somehow.

It's not all bad, though. They all laugh and tell old stories. Carmilla even tells a couple of jokes.

When they go back home Laura is pinned against the wall the second they close the door to her apartment.

Carmilla kisses her so hard that she can almost see stars behind her eyelids.

It's messy and fast. But it's still them.

Laura needs to hold Carmilla back to try and calm her down for a few seconds.

"I'm here, Carm… I'm here… I love you." She whispers to Carmilla and the woman finally slows down.

This isn't new for Laura. Some nights Carmilla will hold her strongly, as close to her body as she can. Like somehow Laura could slip through her fingers if she doesn't.

Laura thinks she understands. She doesn't want to lose Carmilla too.

* * *

 **T** he last step is officially meeting Carmilla's siblings.

They go to an expensive restaurant, all expenses paid by Mattie.

Laura ends up being the center of a thousand jokes. They make fun of how short she is, how her voice gets high when she is upset, and how her hands turns into balls of fists when she is angry.

Only when Carmilla asks for the hundredth time for them to stop they change the topic. And start teasing her instead, in which Laura learns that this is how they show affection to the people they like.

After that, Mattie and Will spend the rest of the night telling Laura the most ridiculous stories about their teenager years.

* * *

 **C** lose to the end of the year it starts to get harder to live so far away from each other.

Laura hates that she needs to wait all week to see Carmilla again. She hates going to sleep alone in her bed and waking up without Carmilla kissing her.

It's even worse when she can find Carmilla's clothes mixed with hers in the pile of dirty laundry.

Sometime after Christmas break Laura just blows it out.

"You should just come live here."

Carmilla's eyes go wide.

Laura thinks maybe she is overstepping the lines. Maybe she shouldn't have said anything. She just thought it made sense. All their stuff is getting mixed together anyway and Carmilla's job is closer to her house. She only stops ranting inside her own mind when she sees the smile on her girlfriends' face.

* * *

 **T** hey slowly make the change.

Carmilla starts bringing her clothes and books to Laura's house. And they move the furniture around trying to make enough space for the both of them. They sell most of the things from Carmilla's old apartment, using the money to buy new stuff together.

The last thing that appears in Laura's apartment is Ell's frame.

None of them talk about it at first, both wondering what they should do with it. Laura knows that Carmilla doesn't like to mix things from her past relationship with all that they have together now. But Laura still feels like she owes Ell. Because she was a big part of Carmilla's life and she always will be. They were best friends for a long time, even before the marriage.

So one day Laura places the frame in her kitchen and smiles proudly at the decision.

When Carmilla sees it there is a moment of silence between them.

"Are you sure?" she asks Laura.

"It belongs here." Laura answers.

* * *

 **T** wo years go by fast.

Between their jobs, small trips to visit their families, and nights out with friends, things are finally settling into a familiar and easy pace.

Laura is almost at her building when she gets a message in her phone.

 _LaF: Teachers' room_ _, stuck inside, send help. Fire._

She growls internally.

She could probably call the school and hope someone would answer and help her friend. But she is too worried to go home now. LaFontaine is the kind of a person who would try to do a dangerous experiment after the school day is over.

Running inside the building Laura tries her best to calm herself. There is no smell of smoke or any signs of a fire around the halls. Surely the fire alarm would've gone off if things had gotten serious. Right?

Considering that maybe this is some sick joke from LaFontaine, Laura still walks until she reaches room 307.

When she opens the door she feels like she's experiencing a déjà vu about the scene in front of her.

There is no LaFontaine, fire, or weird experiment in the room.

Only Carmilla, standing beside the microwave. Smiling at Laura.

"Hey." Laura says.

"Hey." Carmilla answers. Her voice is small. And she looks nervous.

 _What is happening?_

"Three years ago we met in this very same place." Carmilla starts. Laura smiles at the thought, remembering the exact date. "A cute English teacher tried to help with me with this shitty microwave. But I managed to shut her off with my amazing personality."

Carmilla starts to walk towards Laura. Slowly, but with confidence.

And Laura's heart starts to beat so very fast. For what, she doesn't know.

"I thought life would never give me another chance. I thought I didn't deserve another chance." Carmilla smiles sadly. "And someone told me that I did deserve… to be happy again."

Finally the two of them are only a few breaths away from each other. Carmilla holds one of Laura's hands and Laura moves even closer, like her body always knows it needs to be touching Carmilla's.

"You see… this same woman who told me I deserved good things… didn't know she was the second chance I wanted." Laura laughs. And realizes she is crying now; still confused as to what is happening, but she's feeling giddy. "But I really hope that, after all these years we've spent together, she understands… that she is the best thing that has happened to me."

Carmilla goes down in one knee. The hand that isn't holding Laura's goes into her pocket.

And a small black box is there.

Blurring Laura's vision.

Changing everything.

"Laura Hollis… would you give me the honor of being your wife?" Carmilla finally says, with hope in her eyes.

Laura spent so much of the last three years thinking about them. Where they were going, what they were going to do. She thought about how easy and comfortable it is to be with Carmilla. About how her heart feels whole now. Sometimes she would scare herself thinking about one of them breaking the other's heart. She didn't expect to fall in love so easily. No big or drastic moment where they had to wonder if being together was right.

Another thing she didn't expect was how easy it is to give an answer to Carmilla's question.

" _Yes_." She hears herself saying.

Carmilla gets up and they are both laughing and crying.

The ring fits perfectly on Laura's finger.

She doesn't know how. But it does.

Like falling in love with Carmila had been. With no rational thoughts or explanations or reasons needed.

 _It just happened._

* * *

 **A/N** : Thank you all so much for all the comments/favs! I tried to write all the little details about their lives here in this epilogue but in the end I still had to cut a few scenes, otherwise it'd look too rushed.

Anyway, I'm glad I finished this fic because now I can start focusing on new ones (and give a break to my beta, sorry Doris!). There is a short angst AU coming soon and I'm working on the outlines for a new multichapter one. So keep an eye on that!  
If you want to talk with me while we wait for this you can follow me on my tumblr, my username there is laurahhollis. See you around!


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